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If You Want To See Something Ugly
This Basquiat quote is just so damn true. Seeing It All Do you want to see the ugliness in the world? Do you want to see the beauty in the world? It isn't really a choice. We have the capacity for both. But we just have to remember that if we want to see…
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Research Says Just Make It Your Goal
Making gratitude the priority. The Benefit of Making Gratitude Your Goal Neuroscience has found that all humans have a negativity bias. This means that our brains are more cued in to noticing threats than rewards. It means that we will notice, respond to and remember the negative for more than we will remember the…
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Don’t Cover Up Shit with Glitter
I found actual dog shit in my bed! Allow The Shit To Be Shit A couple weeks ago I was talking about Getting Real About Gratitude where I mentioned that things aren't always pretty but that we can still find beauty by looking at the ugliness with a grateful heart. Well that was put to…
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Get Out of Your Perspective Rut
I have always hated that. Another Day Another Opportunity Yesterday I was at Target and making small talk with the cashier. We were celebrating that he was getting off work in 15 minutes. Then he started talking about how much he hates Mondays and how he has hated them his entire life. He really lost…
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Getting Real about Gratitude
It’s not all daisies and sunsets. The Reality of Gratitude Before I started my gratitude practice I used to roll my eyes at people’s gratitude. I mean, come on. Don’t they live in the real world like the rest of us? Where’s the dog shit and the car wrecks and the death? Why is…
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Wise Wounds
That place that hurts. This Isn’t Your Last Wound There is a wound. Slashing through your heart. Or is it your body? Your soul? It screams out to you in pain fresh and bloody. Or the throb of an ancient hurt muted but etched in stone. It begs for your attention. It buckles your…
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Try This When Someone Rains On Your Parade
Haters Gonna Hate Staying On Your Path There are always going to be haters, naysayers and complainers. And it can be easy to sink into that negativity. It happens and it’s not that big of a deal as long as we get back on our path. I was confronted with this in a big…
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Gratitude with Eyes Wide Open
Kid President has some beautiful words to inspire us this week. Practicing Gratitude Is Not about Ignoring the Bad Don’t be afraid of the bad. The sad. The hurt. I’m sorry. I don’t want to tell you how to feel. Be afraid if you must. But don’t close your eyes. Look at the bad.…
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Every Aspect of Our Lives Is a Vote
How many times today did you vote for the kind of life you want to live in? That Negativity All Around Us Right Now Do you ever find yourself having the same conversation with different people? That happens a lot for me. Most recently it is about the negativity in this election. It’s just…
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And Then I Learned That I’ve Known Abundance All Along
In a field of tall grass I learned two incredible lessons about abundance. And then as I wrote this I realized that tomorrow I celebrate my 2000th gratitude post! As I wrote this I discovered that tomorrow will be my 2000th gratitude post. I walked into that field and all that grass had grown…
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Problem Solving Without Focusing on the Problem
Imagine if you walked through life shining light on things you wanted to see more of. Shining a Light – What Will You Find? We notice problems at every turn. That is not a problem. Noticing is good. Discernment is a skill. But after we have acknowledged a problem we can switch out…
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Was He Really Grateful for Doo Doo Head?
The boy scrawled those words on the gratitude board “doo doo head”. His family jumped to criticize but no one asked him what he meant. We Are So Damn Quick To Judge Others Yesterday I had the giant gratitude board at a community event celebrating love. It was beautiful with hundreds of people sharing…
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Summer Rain Cleanse
The thunder is the loudest, the lightning is the brightest, the rain is the softest. When Life is Stormy Summer rains are showering our desert in blessings. Let the rain cleanse away your worries and your fears. Let the unknowns of life be as accepted as the thunder. Let your gratitude flow like soft…
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How Do You Fight?
My grandparents fought through prayer and hard work and asking for help. Can Gratitude Be a Form of Fighting? In this time of so many people taking sides and fighting it can feel like even peace and war is in its own conflict. But not all fighting is bad. Sometimes we are fighting to be…
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Freedom to Choose
With a broken elbow she was apologizing for not being more positive. Is there ever a good enough reason to complain? I Hereby Grant You Permission to Complain Complaining is a choice. So is gratitude. I practice gratitude every single evening but I also complain. A lot. I am not all gratitude because…
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Saying Goodbye with Gratitude
Oh man, the crying headache. It aches like nothing else. Pounding, pulsing, it has it’s own heart beat. Another Fucking Tragedy Here we are again. We are collectively mourning. Again. Our tears pour down our faces and we ask more of ourselves than we were meant to ask. Sometimes I wonder how I can go on.…
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I’m Just So Tired
Well Not Just Tired Here goes the list of complaints: I am tired, very tired. My gums are throbbing with my bad tooth screaming to get out. I am stressed with a lingering obligation anchoring my every thought. I am hungry and I don’t even want to be writing right now. One thing I…
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How to Inspire: From “Be Happy” to “I Am Grateful for ________”
Discovering Happiness During My Mid-College Crisis Something happened to me right around the time I turned 20. I called it my mid-college crisis and even though it was during the stone ages of the internet (back in 1995) I made a website about it. I questioned everything. Who am I? What am I doing with my…
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The Lure in 5, 4, 3, 2 …
It Grabs Hold of You So seductively it draws you in. It knows that you can’t take your mind off of it. It’s the smart thing to do. It’s the right thing to do. And soon it’s all you think about. It is the future. Even in gratitude tomorrow grabs hold. That…
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The Worst Things about Yourself
Leaning In I was listening to an interview of advice columnist, Ask Polly, aka Heather Havrilesky. The interviewer asked her for advice on how to Be a Person in the World (the title of her upcoming book) and this was her answer. You’ve gotta lean way into what you already are. Lean way the…