Both are true. Uncovering that truth.
Yes, And
Oof. My final (if all goes as planned) year of graduate school has begun. And already the stress is thick this semester. I was texting a friend and told him how intense it was to be in class for 12 hours (with just two small breaks). I was feeling overwhelmed and definitely feeling stressed. His response was, “But, it’s totally worth it.” It annoyed me. And I thought to myself, “yes, but …” and started to refocus on all the stress.
There were a couple of things going on here. First, instead of reframing for other people it is always best to invite them to reframe. For example, if he would have asked, “Is it totally worth it?” I would have said, “Hell yes!” Second, I wasn’t ready to find the gratitude. I was in that moment feelings my feelings of stress and overwhelm. I recognized this resistance to gratitude right away when I caught myself thinking, “yes, but …”
I try not to use those “buts” because they tend to erase or negate whatever precedes them. With that thought I was basically negating the idea that it was totally worth it. And that’s not how I feel. I know it’s totally worth it. So instead of the “yes, but” I sat myself down to see the “yes, and” that was true for me.
Yes, I was (am) feeling stressed and overwhelmed. And I am also very excited and grateful for all I am able to experience and learn. I am grateful to be able to have all of my classes on one day so that I can successfully manage the rest of my schedule. And I am grateful that it allows me to a day completed devoted to work and studying. I am grateful for the opportunity to be in this graduate program. And I am grateful that I can handle all of this stress.
Many times the very things we feel stressed about are also things we are grateful for. So, yes. I was annoyed by his statement AND I was also grateful for it because it reminded me to focus on gratitude. The very act of finding gratitude actually helped me to feel less stressed. Although I know that well, in that moment I needed a reminder.
And what a helpful reminder it was. Because the very thing that brings me stress also brings me so many blessings.
Stop focusing on how stressed you are, and remember how blessed you are.
~unknown
What are you grateful for that also brings you some stress?
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