I accept myself in this moment.
Using Gratitude to Stop Caring What Others Think
In the scenario from last week I talked about how expectations can get in the way of positive emotion. Another way to see that scenario is from the lens of validation, which really is just another way of saying acceptance. External validation is when we rely on other people's acceptance while internal validation is when we accept ourselves. External validation is a natural part of the human experience. We are social animals and being accepted by others is important for our survival.
While external validation is natural, we can learn to rely on others for validation less by practicing internal validation. And practicing gratitude is one way we can make that shift. Not all gratitude serves this purpose. In order to practice internal validation, we specifically practice finding gratitude for ourselves, our behavior, our instincts, our intuition, our characteristics and ways of being.
Like all gratitude it is important to remember that we are not expressing gratitude in general but for a specific thing in a specific moment in time. I find that this reminder is especially helpful when I am pointing my gratitude lens at myself. I am grateful for being a scheduler. By saying that I am not saying that I am always grateful for being a scheduler but in this moment I am.
Practicing gratitude for ourselves is a specific and tangible thing we can do that helps us to accept ourselves which is practicing internal validation. The more we can have a strong core of internal validation we are less reliant on the validating responses of others which is a beautiful and freeing thing.
If we fall in love with ourselves — not in a selfish way, but in an appreciative way — we will discover a source of love that doesn’t run out.
~Leo Babauta
What do you appreciate about yourself?
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]