Appreciating your body with touch.

Intentional Self Touch During Times of Grief

I have been thinking a lot about grief and loss. There are people in our gratitude community who are experiencing profound losses right now. And there are people in my other communities, people in the country and all over the world, who are experiencing the same.

I keep being drawn to a memory of an Ayurvedic practitioner who I saw many years ago. I was expecting she was going to prescribe some drastic and difficult changes in diet and lifestyle. I was surprised when her only recommendation was daily Abhyanga; a form of self massage using warm rich heavy oils which she recommended that I massage into my entire body each day. How could something so relaxing and luxurious be healthy?

One of the first thing I noticed when I started was that it took a lot of time. And I kept battling with whether or not it was “worth my time”. I knew immediately that was the lesson here.

The second thing I noticed was that there were parts of my body that I was not used to touching in such an intentional way. I was used to putting lotion on my entire body or sudsing up to get clean but this was different. The slow and intentional pace and the feel of such a heavy oil between my fingertips, fingers and palms and every part of my body was so nurturing. It was easy to get overwhelmed with the bliss that came from self touch. I remember crying when I felt how healing my own touch could be. This was many years before I started my written gratitude practice but I knew then that this is exactly what this practice was. Finding gratitude for my own touch and also finding gratitude for all of these parts of my body that I wasn’t noticing previously.

So why is this memory emerging when I am thinking about grief? I there are a few reasons.

1. When we are grieving we need to feel connected to others. But sometimes we are so disconnected from our feelings and ourselves it feels impossible. This self-massage is a way that we can be present and connect with ourselves and in turn open up to others.
2. When we are grieving we need to be nurtured. But sometimes that is the last thing we want from anyone else. Or maybe everyone we are that close to is dealing with their own pain and unable to nurture us. This self-massage is incredibly nurturing and we can do it ourselves.
3. When we are grieving it can be really hard to feel worthy of life and love and gratitude and joy. This self-massage connects us with our worth in profound ways.
4. When we are grieving we need to be releasing through tears and sweat and emotion and in so many ways. This self-massage is a beautiful practice of release. Especially since you do it before showering or bathing. Afterwards you release everything down the drain.

What a beautiful practice to be gentle and nurturing with ourselves and grateful for our bodies during such a challenging time.
 

If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others. ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh

What are you grateful to experience when you take the time to connect with yourself?

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