You’re beautiful. I appreciate you. But you’re just not right for me.
I Used To Love and Welcome You
I used to love this weed you see in the photo with it's delicate lavender blooms and bright yellow stamen. It is a Silver Leaf Nightshade and it grows easily even with no water in our punishing direct sun. And in the desert, I figured, you take what you can get as far as beautiful flowers go. But they are nearly impossible to control with their deep tap roots, their severe thorns and their prolific seeds.
For years I let it coexist in my yard wherever it chose to be. Then a few years back I tried to contain it to only certain areas. But it is nature after all and does not respect my arbitrary boundaries. Pulling the weeds is extremely challenging with the sharp thorns piercing through even my thickest leather gloves.
My friend, and fellow collective member, Eva (hi, my giant Irish twin ❤) was talking about how much she loves these weeds for their flowering beauty. And I told her that I used to feel the same way. Last weekend when I was pulling them from my yard I realized I do still find them beautiful. And in many ways I am grateful for them. But they are not for me. I tried. I really tried. But they cause me pain, they don't respect my boundaries, and literally, they are toxic. So, I am sorry, Silver Leaf Nightshade, you are beautiful but you are not for me. I don't need to "take what I can get". I can have the beautiful yard of my dreams. And you are not part of that vision. Actually, I would rather have dirt in place of you. Empty space filled with possibilities.
Well it is obvious to me this is a metaphor and lesson that I can apply to my dating and relationship life but also so many other parts of my life. Sometimes beauty and appreciation are not enough. And just because you are good for others doesn't mean you are right for me. In gratitude, I say, goodbye.
You wanna fly? You got to give up the shit that weighs you down.
~Toni Morrison
What do you appreciate but you are also ready to say goodbye to?
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]