Don’t be afraid of your tender heart. It feels too vulnerable. It feels scary. But it is healing.
Healing Ourselves with Gratitude and Tenderness
I spent my entire life trying to be tough. I wanted to be seen as cool. I wanted people to think that there is nothing they could do to hurt me because I was so damn tough. Even now showing my vulnerability is something I have to consciously do. It isn’t something that comes natural for me.
I’ve written about a situation that happened early in my sobriety when I felt on fire with anger when some mean girls were making fun of me. (Check it out here: And Then the Anger Came) I talked about how great if felt to not be numb and to feel the full range of emotion. And that it is possible to be angry and grateful. But I just realized something about this story that is the most remarkable and healing part. After the incident I returned to the party I was at and I told people what happened. This was huge for me because I was self-conscious about what the girls were saying about me and I was embarrassed that it affected me so much. But I put all of that aside and told these people I was with, people I wanted to see me as cool and tough, I told them everything. I was vulnerable with them and that vulnerability was so very healing.
I was tender in my heart. I was tender with myself. And I let that tenderness show. This helped heal my hurt and my anger. It helped me break the chains of toughness that I clung to for most of my life. It helped me love myself just as I was, unconditionally, whole-heartedly. And that kind of love is where all healing comes from.
This was three years ago and it felt like it just happened. But all of this makes me realize that I can cultivate tenderness and gratitude. And with that garden, I can heal myself again and again.
What truly heals is gratitude and tenderness.
~Pema Chodron
What makes you feel tender and grateful?
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/members/antonia/” background=”#eaf62d” color=”#999999″ size=”20″ center=”yes”]Click for Antonia’s Shared Gratitude[/su_button]
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/activity/” background=”#999999″ color=”#eaf62d” size=”20″ center=”yes”]Click to See Our Collective Gratitude[/su_button]
[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]