Is it better to express gratitude to a person you are grateful for or to write down your gratitude experience without directing it to anyone?
He Put Me on the Spot
I was talking to someone last week, a fellow entrepreneur, about gratitude. I told him about my gratitude practice and the work that I do related to gratitude and my personal story. He said that the way people practice gratitude these days, writing it down or practicing it in other ways, leaves out expressing gratitude to a person they are grateful for. He talked about how unfortunate that was. At first I agreed. Of course we should tell people thank you. But then I realized that actually I didn’t agree with him.
Gratitude Is Not a Limited Resource
I let him know that in my experience practicing gratitude (not directed at anyone or anything) makes me more focused on gratitude in other ways. Practicing gratitude makes me more inclined to say thank you to people who I am grateful for. And because of my gratitude practice I am much more detailed in my thank yous which help it to be much more genuine and heartfelt. It’s not like my gratitude gets all used up. It is quite the opposite. The more I use it the more there is.
Judge Not
So, which is better? To express gratitude to a person you appreciate or to write down the experience of gratitude without directing it to anyone? The question is meaningless because it is not an either/or scenario. I think it’s better to practice gratitude every day in all the ways: feeling, acknowledging, noticing, savoring, contemplating, writing to no one, writing to someone, writing to everyone, sharing, etc. There is not one better than another. And actually, I caution you against ranking your gratitude by importance or any other way. Is feeling gratitude for your child more important than feeling gratitude for a stranger who smiled at you or feeling gratitude for a nourishing meal or the beauty of the night sky? Resist the urge to rank your gratitude. Because the feeling of gratitude is enough. It is truth. And judging and ranking blocks the natural feeling of gratitude. It is like ranking love or joy or laughter or breath. Notice it. Experience it. Appreciate it. Again and again and again.
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
~Mahatma Gandhi
What are grateful for about a person you love that you have never told them?
LEARNING: What are grateful for about a person you love that you have never told them?
FORGOTTEN GRATITUDE: Last week I was also grateful for noticing how big the lizards have gotten, noticing the bees buzzing deep within the cactus flowers, feeling the ice cold stream water on my toes.
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]