It’s an Inside Job

I find myself saying that I will get to this and that when things calm down. But it never does. There’s always something new that shows up to challenge me. Lately the challenge has been emotional as you know from reading last week’s issue. What I have been struggling with is my Uncle finding out he has brain tumors. As of today, over a week later we still have more questions than answers. Then, when I was already drowning in tears, a tsunami came in the form of the terrorist attacks in France. I just couldn’t handle it. I was overwhelmed with all the grief. I wrote my gratitude and continued forward. Then, I woke up in a panic remembering that a good friend of mine works with Eagles of Death Metal. I found out he was not out with them this time. What a fucking relief, he is OK but not everyone was. In fact, one of his friends was killed in the attack. That day I kept reading news article after news article until thankfully I remembered that I wrote an article on Self-Care During Times of Tragedy. I read it and took my own advice and felt better. Not like everything is better. Not like everything has settled down. Like I have the power over my thinking and I can choose one thought over another.

 

I am struggling right now. You might be too. In times like this it is good to remember that we can’t control any of that shit that is going on in our world. It’s OK. We don’t have to solve all of these problems. What we can do is take care of ourselves. We can practice gratitude. We can feel our emotions. We can choose our thoughts. What does this mean? Our feelings are natural and in addition to that we can create our feelings through our thoughts. For instance.

• If I see litter on the ground I could think: I don’t like litter. I could pick it up and throw it away. Then I could either let it go or I could focus on the feeling of generosity and maybe even pride I feel in my service of picking up litter. Now this is one path and it is one of happier thoughts and emotions.
• Alternately I could think: Who the fuck would throw trash on the street? I could continue to make up a story about the person who littered. How selfish they were, that they don’t care about the environment. I could further think about the state of our environment. It is overwhelming and feels like there’s nothing I can do to even make a dent in the amount of destruction to the planet. I could continue to judge people who are ignorant about the negative impact they have. This path is one of negative thoughts, judgmental thoughts and emotions that may include hopelessness and anger and chaos.

 

There are many differences in the thoughts in these two examples but I’d like to point out the difference of personal responsibility. In the first path I took ownership of the problem at my feet and picked up the litter. In the second example there is more blaming and less action and no self-reflection.

 

This is a pretty inconsequential example but it shows you the power of our mind. So today when you encounter an event in the world, feel your feelings and be aware of the thoughts you choose. Ask yourself how your thoughts about the event affected your feelings.

 

 

November Nudge

Don’t forget … We are in the midst of our November Nudge: 30 Days of Unexpected Gratitude. Every day I am posting a new question on our website. Or you can sign up to receive the questions by email.

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You have power over your mind not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.
~~Marcus Aurelius

Think about a situation you wish you could control. What are you grateful for as it is now?

LEARNING: Last week I had a lot of hard days but I am so proud of myself for still being able to find gratitude. It helps that I am doing the November Nudge questions. Those questions have really helped me to explore gratitude with a wider lens beyond my current worries. Actually in the moment of gratitude I have no worries and that is a delightful loving thing.

FORGOTTEN GRATITUDE: Last week I was also grateful for saving freezing lizards … A soft loving kiss … Being of help in a difficult situation.

  

 

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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]