Hey! You! Get Off of My Cloud
Do you have some negative people in your life at work, at home, in traffic, online or pretty much everywhere? Yeah, we all do. Actually each and every one of us are negative at times ourselves. One of my exes was so negative at a time when I was bursting with wonder and joy. Before I would see him I would prepare myself by singing that perfect Rolling Stones song in my head. I felt like I was skipping around on clouds and he was down below being rained on and instead of joining me up where the weather was fine he wanted to bring me down there with him. I’ve also experienced this on work projects where I am super excited to get to work on a challenging project and then the naysayers start up with their tales of “it’ll never work”. But you know what? A lot of times I am that naysayer and I am that one who is complaining and squashing hope with “realism”. The ironic thing is that often I catch myself complaining about negative people. But wait? Aren’t I being a hypocrite if I am complaining about people who are complaining? So whether the negativity is within or all around there are some things you can do to keep it from getting you down.
Accept Them
So, they are negative. So, they see the worst in every situations. So, they complain a lot. So what? Accept them. They are just being themselves. Let them be. The same goes for you. If you are complaining cut yourself some slack. It’s OK.
Find Gratitude for Them
This is the magic step in going from acceptance to letting something go. Find some gratitude for the situation and for them. But it has to be real. Maybe you are grateful that they helped you see a potential problem. Maybe you are grateful that their complaints help you to be aware of that so that you don’t fall into that habit. Maybe you are grateful that your negative view has kept you safe.
Limit Your Time with Them
Spend less time with them if you can. Or be aware of the effect they have on you and make sure that you spend less time with them when you are feeling especially sensitive to the negativity. Unfollow or hide their facebook posts. I actually have a lot of tips for making your facebook feed more positive. Reply and let me know if you’re interested in hearing more about that. This one is a little more tricky to use when you are negative. I mean you can’t exactly limit time with yourself.
Release your Expectations
Don’t expect them to be negative. Don’t expect them to be positive. You are not the authority on defining negative for other people. This goes back to acceptance. When we let go of expectations we can accept others for who they are at any given moment. Same for you. Don’t expect yourself to always be positive. Sure you can choose to find gratitude but then a moment later you might find a complaint. It’s OK.
Focus on Yourself
If people are driving you up the wall and not acting like you think they should be. If you feel trapped and unable to get away from it and pulled into it yourself. Then this is a warning sign that you need to take care of yourself. Focus on you instead of focusing on them. What do you need right now? How can you meet those needs without having to get it from them? Go for a walk. Take a bath. Meditate. Journal. Be creative. If you don’t have time then go into the bathroom for 3 minutes and close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Write what you are grateful for. Take a nap. Eat a healthy meal. Pet a dog. Become aware of areas of your body that are tense or uncomfortable. Relax them. When you are ready return to the world refreshed full of acceptance, love and gratitude.
[su_quote cite=”Michael J. Fox”]My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.[/su_quote]
This Week’s Gratitude Question
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/activity/” background=”#178fb3″]What are you grateful to be aware of right now?[/su_button]
My Gratitude Experience Last Week
I don't know why but I usually decline invites to go bowling with my girlfriend's family. Well they are the only ones who ever invite me to go bowling so I guess I usually decline bowling invites in general. I don't know why I always say no because it's always fun once I get on the lanes. Well on Sunday my day started completely immersed in gratitude. I had the "I am grateful for _____________" chalkboard out at the Celebrating Love event at the Rail Yards Market and hundreds of people shared their gratitude. This event started out my day with so much love + gratitude. It was a beautiful experience. So later that day when the bowling invitation came in I said yes! I think that love and gratitude are all about saying yes so I was already primed. What fun will you say yes to?
Forgotten Gratitude
Last week I was also grateful for being a part of the most awesome music community, Gatas y Vatas … The best customer service, so refreshing to find a printer that has as much attention to detail as I have … Being treated to a most delicious dinner, I am spoiled.
A New eCard
Image by Antonia Montoya
The Gratitude I Shared Last Week
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| Sun | 8/7/2015 | I’m grateful for eating crab while wearing my crabby pants and no longer being crabby … Our room finally taking shape … A lovely day off with no plans, lots of good food, reading and a bit of writing. |
| Sat | 8/6/2015 | What a lovely day bowling and working and loving and appreciating and being inspired and listening and watching and togetherness and being supported and giving and learning and horchata and a bright green beetle and so many cute dogs and board after board after board after board after board after board filled with all our gratitude. |
| Fri | 8/5/2015 | I’m grateful for accepting the challenge and taking a big scary risk and the perfect supportive community for it … I’m grateful for a day full of tacos and chips and salsa … Being of service and being loving. |
| Thu | 8/4/2015 | I’m grateful for Zozobra, such an interesting and powerful cultural experience … A kick ass artful dance party in an intriguing old building with mysterious history … A beautiful day of business, volunteer, a tv appearance, conversations, laughter, silliness, dancing, talking with Jean … I’m grateful tonight and always. Sweet dreams. Must crash out I’m taking mini naps with each blink of my eyes. |
| Wed | 8/6/2015 | So filled with love and gratitude for my today and my future in business, some amazing synchronicity combined with news that was a huge relief, delight and joy and lightness for the resonance that is this path … I’m grateful for coconut whipped cream, sooooooo much rich yumminess … I’m grateful for getting things done on my deadline so that tomorrow will be smooth. |
| Tue | 8/2/2015 | I’m grateful for this delightful How To Age Gracefully video, I laughed so hard and even welled up with tears … I’m grateful for finally reconnecting with Allisun, lots of real talk and business talk that cleared some weeds out of my path forward, and love … I’m grateful for things falling into place with the website I’m working on. |
| Mon | 8/1/2015 | I’m grateful for a call to arms (loving hugging arms) … Finding authentic gratitude in a frustrating situation, ”yes and” I can be frustrated and grateful … A fresh pot of Indian tea … My headache finally going away. |
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can too. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]