You know that one story you tell?
We all have those stories. Our own horror stories about being picked on as a child, an old boss who didn’t support us, an ex who betrayed us, being left out, gaining weight, being a victim of a crime, a car crash we were in, eating something that made us sick. We have told these stories so many times that we have the plot memorized. We know the point of view, the characters, the climax and the conclusion. We aren’t learning, growing, or being curious. We are reciting. What do we want to get out of this story-telling. Do we want to belong and feel connected? Do we want sympathy or compassion? Do we want to show how far we’ve come? Are we trying to share a lesson learned?
The stories we tell are powerful forces that can trap us in one particular way of being or they can expand our possibilities. When I was in my early twenties I used to tell and retell a story about one day of my life at seventeen. This was a true and dramatic story that involved birth control pills being flushed down the toilet and the priest being called to the house. Yes, this was entertaining and it was true but every time I told it I always felt disconnected from my parents and sometimes even embarrassed. When I told it I didn’t feel good. I had so many other stories that showed that my parents had open minds and open hearts. Stories of compassion and understanding. Stories of growing together and valuing each other. Stories that left me feeling confident and proud. Finally I stopped retelling that story because it was no longer serving me. Just because I didn’t tell the story didn’t change my past. But now, with the story behind me I can see things with a different perspective. What else was going on? What was I grateful for then? What am I grateful for now? With some distance from the tired old story I find that I have a new compassion for my parents, what it must have been like for them having such an independent and strong-minded daughter. I am also now grateful that my parents were so strict and closely involved in my life.
Next time you are tempted to tell an old story, try looking at it from a different perspective. Ask yourself what you hope to gain by telling the story. Remind yourself that storytelling is creative. You were creative when you first told that story but it has since lost the spark of creativity through retelling. In what ways can you create a different variation of the story or a new telling all together? As I write this I realize that when we share our gratitude every day we are telling stories. These stories are fresh and new and have the energy of creativity. When we tell our daily stories of gratitude we are putting the good in our lives under the spotlight and because of that we find more and more good in our lives. We connect with others. We create not only a story but we create the life we want to live.
[su_quote cite=”Charles Dickens”]Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes of which all men have some.[/su_quote]
This Week’s Gratitude Question
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/activity/” background=”#178fb3″]What story can you share about the good in your life today?[/su_button]
My Gratitude Experience Last Week
Usually when it is time for bed I open my phone and type out my gratitude. On Thursday I changed that up a bit. I had a powerful experience earlier in the day and by the time I was posting my gratitude I felt pretty removed from it. So I deliberately left my phone in the other room and first sat alone and quietly contemplated my gratitude. It worked really well and helped me remember the importance of personal reflection free of distractions.
Forgotten Gratitude
Last week I was also grateful for being able to take so much pleasure eating the tiniest of bites … Inappropriate games and hashtag jokes … Finding my favorite travel coffee mug.
A New eCard
Image by Antonia Montoya
The Gratitude I Shared Last Week
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| Sun | 2/22/2015 | I’m grateful for my mom always there for all of us helping us celebrate our lives … I’m grateful for Cassandra, open-hearted loving, carrying life in her womb, growing, thriving and appreciating … I’m grateful for an abundance of left overs … I’m grateful for Nicole by my side and a quick surprise visit by her parents. |
| Sat | 2/21/2015 | I’m grateful for absolute open acceptance and love, the right words coming through me, overcome with emotion, tears streaming down my cheeks with grace … I’m grateful for venting my stress but not being stopped by it … I’m grateful for more handmade chocolates, so intense and expressive … I’m grateful for my female clan. |
| Fri | 2/20/2015 | I feel gratitude for big yawns filling me with oxygen … Walking away from a problem and coming back refreshed and able to quickly solve it … Friday knits … Receiving sweet grateful texts which inspired me to do the same : ) |
| Thu | 2/19/2015 | I’m so grateful for taking moments of quiet solitude to contemplate my gratitude without my phone in my hands … So many blessings together in the adobe womb of the temezcal, holding me tight in a loving embrace of my elders … A delicious lovingly prepared dinner … The dogs so well-behaved today making new friends, playful and sweet. |
| Wed | 2/18/2015 | I’m grateful for a big heavy fleece-lined down blanket to snuggle into … Sleeping through it … Easiest dinner … Planning meaningful blessings … Paying attention to old stories I retell that keep me from creating new stories moment after moment. |
| Tue | 2/17/2015 | I’m grateful for snow cables and Cash so generous and helpful … A leisurely trip home, listening to such intriguing stories, outlet shopping, turning around and taking in a spectacular view, a delicious meal in Las Vegas, NM … Being reunited with our doggy family … Love in my heart and all around. |
| Mon | 2/16/2015 | I’m grateful for being part of a team and everyone swooping in to help … I’m grateful for knitting and reading and listening to podcasts to while away the day … I’m grateful for Kara’s snow tires so we could get some food and tire cables … I’m grateful for wireless so I could get my work done today. |
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My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it!
A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide.
My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can to. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336.
Created by Antonia Montoya[/su_note]