Transforming Self
We are on our final of six weeks of focusing on our inner selves to be the change we wish to see in the world. This week is all about making positive changes.
What a journey we have been on these last six weeks. A journey of self-discovery. A journey of gratitude. A journey of love. A journey of practice. Here in this final week we are making a positive change. But really, all along we have been changing. We have been changing in a loving, appreciative and kind way. In my many years of helping people to make positive behavior changes, I have found that when people are thinking about making a change they are pretty hard on themselves. There is a lot of judgment that comes out as “I should be doing this” and “I shouldn’t be doing that”. That is fine (self-acceptance!) but it is not really a good motivator for most people. It is also not good for building self-efficacy (belief that you can make the change), a vital step before change is made. So today, we will walk through a positive and strength-based transformation.
Accept yourself and acknowledge yourself
Maybe you are shoulding yourself about practicing gratitude, eating more vegetables, going on more bike rides, etc. Accept this judgment. Find the good in it. It is showing you that you want to change.
If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation. ~Jiddu Krishnamurti
Accept yourself just the way you are right now. Find gratitude for your life as it is right now. Find gratitude for the strengths and skills that you have right now. These can be tapped in to on your journey of change. Acknowledge yourself for noticing your desire for change. Acknowledge yourself for your strengths.
Show some self-compassion and acknowledge yourself
Show yourself some kindness and understanding. In this step, don’t tell yourself what to do. Don’t try to solve the problem. Give yourself the gift of understanding. Write down what is important to you. Acknowledge yourself for these values. Notice what you are feeling and acknowledge how difficult (exciting, peaceful, etc.) those feelings can be.
Love yourself and acknowledge yourself
So you have accepted yourself the way you are. Now take it one step further and love the very thing you wish to change. If you run out of breath walking up the stairs, love your lungs for the air they are bringing in to your body. If you drank too much last night, love your liver for working hard to detoxify your blood. If you yelled at someone you care about, love yourself for having someone in your life you care about. Love yourself and acknowledge yourself for showing love.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~Martin Luther King
You do not have to hate yourself to change yourself actually you will get best results if you love yourself. Because then you will know that you are worth the effort it takes to change.
Care for yourself and acknowledge yourself
Ask yourself, “What is the most nurturing first step toward making this change?”. Maybe it is taking a small first step or maybe it is allowing a fun alternative. For instance if you want to exercise more, maybe you will go dancing instead of running. Think about all of the skills you have that you can utilize to make this change. Think about the strengths that you possess. Think about your past successes you can learn from. Acknowledge yourself for taking care of yourself in this way.
Keep planning and acknowledge yourself
You have already begun planning your first steps, now full of self-acceptance, compassion, love and care continue this plan for making this change. Make sure to include your skills, strengths and support-system in the plan. Acknowledge yourself for creating the plan.
Make the change and acknowledge yourself
Follow your plan. Celebrate your successes along the way. Acknowledging yourself for your efforts and accomplishments. Check in with yourself and ask yourself, “What have you done this week that you are proud of?”, “What are you grateful for about this journey?”, “What have you learned?”, and “In what way have you used your skills and strengths to get this far?”.
If you ever find that you are down on yourself, discouraged, or losing hope, begin again with accepting yourself.
What a beautiful journey this has been. Remember that by accepting yourself, having compassion for yourself, loving yourself, caring for yourself, and transforming yourself, you are making the world a better place. Not only for yourself but for everyone who is touched by you in the world.
We are exploring and caring for our inner selves through gratitude. Six weeks of self-awareness, learning new skills and practicing them:
This is not a linear process each of these topics and practices will cycle back into the others. As we look at our inner selves we will find gratitude and it will help us accept, have compassion, love, care, and grow.
[su_quote cite=”Carl Rogers”]The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.[/su_quote]
This Week’s Gratitude Question
[su_button url=”http://www.ourgratitudecollective.com/activity/” background=”#178fb3″]What skills or strengths are you grateful to have?[/su_button]
My Gratitude Experience Last Week
Last week I was grateful for hearing the laughter of my niece twice, with two different nieces. In this moments, as they happened I was immediately grateful. Grateful to hear the sweet laughter, grateful to be able to do things to make them laugh, grateful for memories of my own exuberance. Yesterday, when my niece was laughing, memories came to me, thinking of times when I was ridiculously happy. It started to take me to a place of “if only I was that happy now”, then she laughed again and I realized I was.
Forgotten Gratitude
Last week I was also grateful for my love returning home, safe and sound and happy … Not being allergic to juniper, oh and for finally getting an appointment at the allergy clinic to really find out what my allergies are.
A New eCard
Image by Antonia Montoya
The Gratitude I Shared Last Week
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| Sun | 4/19/2015 | I’m grateful for my senses that let me take in my world, always the key to presence … I’m grateful for Eva’s exuberant laugh, overjoyed at the dog lick, the trampoline bounce, and who knows what … I’m grateful for Esequiel and his adorable poses … I’m grateful for an interesting and delicious float: coconut ice cream, whole organic strawberries muddled and spicy ginger beer. |
| Sat | 4/18/2015 | I’m grateful for beautiful flowers pulling my attention on my walk earlier, the brightest orange, pale pink, and purple velvety irises … A salsa-making success … An unexpected text that warmed me. |
| Fri | 4/17/2015 | I’m grateful for an unexpected last-minute change to my work day that allowed me to see her off … A full gratitude board and being able to loan it out and transport it myself. I love that beautiful board! … I’m grateful for a mostly empty inbox … A serene moment alone at sunrise. |
| Thu | 4/16/2015 | I am deeply moved by the connection to spirit and clarity of mind, emotions and body that the temezcal heat brings out in me … I’m grateful for a sweet gesture my love made when she walked me out to my car to say goodbye earlier … I’m grateful for seeing the pride and relief of my client who accomplished a big feat she has been working on for years … I’m grateful for the softness in my eyes, flush in my cheeks and the gentleness and love I gifted to myself. |
| Wed | 4/15/2015 | I’m grateful for Alma’s contagious laugh … Help with a practice-run to iron out the kinks … Being able to lift a load on my own … Being able to wait it out instead of being emotionally hooked … Sharing meals, love and kindness. |
| Tue | 4/14/2015 | I’m grateful for sleep, water, darkness and quiet … I’m grateful for a new voice and new perspective just in time … I’m grateful for the reminder to listen. |
| Mon | 4/13/2015 | I’m grateful for getting off of work and surprising my love with a visit … I have always struggled with body image issues and in times like these when I’m actually overweight it can be quite a challenge. Well I’m grateful for getting some feedback that I look happy and healthy and grateful all of which remind me of how aligned I am with my values in all ways. For that I am grateful … I’m grateful for the first tiny leaves of flowers breaking through the hard north valley clay … I’m grateful for getting away from the cat hair that I’m allergic to. |
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[su_note note_color=”#e7e7e7″ text_color=”#686767″ radius=”0″] My gratitude journey started in May 2011 and continues to this day. Thank you for being a part of it! A daily gratitude practice is simple. Write down three things you are grateful for each day. Download your free GratitudeGuide. My clients focus on gratitude and learn from their successes to make the positive changes they want in their lives. You can to. Call me to set up our first meeting 505.333.9336. [/su_note]